Breaks

I was unusually delayed (4 months!) in finishing the third season of the podcast Where There's Smoke. Today I binged the remaining episodes and Nick and Brett, the show's creators, inspired and challenged me as usual.

There are numerous blog posts contained in my brain post-podcast. I'll start with the season finale "Plunge Into Nothing (Breaks)".

I had meant to listen to this before I left for my big break or at some point during it. For whatever reason that never materialized. I thought it was kind of funny that I would be listening to it on the plane ride home.

Though it focused on larger breaks (8-12 months), it helped me work through something that's been on my mind. Breaks give us a chance to check in on who we are. Sometimes in the busy day to day and with our own and so many other voices in our head, we can lose ourselves a little or get lost in someone else's story for us. When this happens it can feel like we are a character playing a role instead of being true to our authentic self. At times over the last number of months I have definitely felt like a Nicole cover band producing these blogs. I thought many times about taking a break, but each time would keep pushing through (definitely part of my narrative, still trying to figure out how that's serving me).

Taking a break gives us a chance to let go of our story/identity and try on different narratives to see how they sit with us. A vegetarian might eat meat for a bit. A workaholic might read nothing but Harry Potter for 5 weeks (see previous posts).  We can test if the beliefs that we and others hold about our identity are true or a part of the story we're ready to leave behind.

It got me thinking about Nicole the character that others perceive and that I often play into. Looking forward to unpacking that a little more tomorrow.