Acceptance

Where There's Smoke (meowgical podcast) did a show on Acceptance. They took a Buddhist approach which looked at accepting something as learning how to sit and be with an emotion, problem, situation, etc before you try to do something about it (or decide not to do anything at all). Their guest for this show Pema Chödrön (author and Buddhist nun) says we have three ways we react to things: fight (push away, get rid of), flight (ignore, deny, try to go somewhere else) or freeze (we push it under, try to feign acceptance). In these modes we try to control and manipulate our inner experience. I have a lot of experience with freeze, which I can dress up as acceptance. 

I'm usually pretty good with accepting challenges that come my way. I can keep a clear head and be in a mode to respond instead of reacting. When something throws me though my inclination is to freeze. To push that feeling under or to pretend I'm OK when I'm not and pretend for others and sometimes even for myself that I've accepted whatever is happening. The challenge with this is it will eventually end up bubbling up.

I carry a lot of emotion with me in everything that I do. It's a strength I'm trying to draw on more as it makes me happy and usually helps others connect with what I'm doing or saying. However, in order to be in freeze mode I have to detach that emotion from whatever I am doing. It's almost robotic. It's funny because I do this with more extreme "positive" and "negative" emotions. When I can feel my emotions going too far in either direction I can clamp down a little. It's kind of scary to be that vulnerable in front of people whether it is to be sad, frustrated or happy. To let others into your heart via the emotions that you are feeling. For me when I speak clearest is when I do it from the heart, which means connecting with and showing the emotion. This also means for me that I've accepted whatever it is that is happening. I've figured out how to sit in it and respond in a wiser and more authentic way.