Being vulnerable is scary. As I teenager I can remember being scared about inviting people to my birthday party because I was afraid they might not show up. Rather than sharing the invite broadly, I just invited those whom I knew would probably say yes.
Yesterday I delivered my invites for a neighbour day BBQ in my building. Last year I baked muffins for my condo building. This year I wanted to do more than spread love, I wanted to bring people together. As I walked around my building at 6am, I was surprised at how that same feeling of fear started to creep back up. I found that I was nervous about running into people. It seems crazy. I was delivering invites to 150+ condos to come to a BBQ, but I didn't want to run into someone as I dropped off their invite. That makes no sense.
I was afraid though of someone telling me my idea was silly. That girl who was afraid that people might not come to her birthday party is still part of who I am.
Luckily, I've learned to dance with this fear and now I'm the one leading. I also know that often the direction the resistance pushes me away from is that exact direction I need to push harder in.
Being a Force for Good 