Confidence Muscle

I recently came across this article on Quartz by Melody Wilding about our misconception and fixed mindset about self-esteem. Unlike extroversion, self-esteem is not a personality trait we are born with. We are not innately confident. We may exhibit traits that our society has categorized as confident, but we may not actually be confident. 

Confidence is something that we build. Not often by being right, but by falling on our faces, picking ourselves up and continuing to move forward. After we do that a few times, we start to have a confidence about our resiliency and capabilities. 

So what am I taking away from this? 

I need to become less afraid of falling down. On the ski hill one of the things that holds me back is my fear of falling. I'm afraid to take a turn on anything a little steep, icy or sometimes just because my internal dialogue gets the better of me. Though I'm less afraid in life than I am on the ski hill, that fear of falling down is still there. No matter how much I know that failure is an essential part of learning, I still love to achieve and get the gold star the first time. 

Second, I have to get comfy with talking openingly about when I fall. Putting on a front and trying to cover up the fall doesn't help and is only heavier in the long run. Trying to get right into the learning and even laughing at myself sometimes is likely a good habit to try and build. 

If you have a growth mindset you believe that you have capacity to grow. That who you and what the world around you today is not stuck and you have an opportunity so shape and evolve it. The great news is if you don't feel you have high self-confidence and self-esteem today you have as much opportunity as anyone to build it.