At some point in my life I learned that being direct was bad. That the way around things was through diplomacy, which involved trying to massage and go around something to hopefully get through it. Or even worse, we can brush things under the rug and hope that they go away.
I'm still working my way out of a habit of going around something for a minute before really getting to a question or comment. It would be far more effective to just state succinctly and clearly what I'm thinking or feeling. Like any reflex though, we can default back to what we've practiced and seen others mirror for us.
As I've gotten older, I've realized that directness is actually a gift. And that people and situations that make a safe space for this are to be valued. We can cultivate this habit in our relationships and choose to surround ourselves by those who give us this.
There will be many times though when taking the direct route won't be the easy path. When we need to choose to generously create tension through our directness in order to move a relationship or situation forward. This is when we can rely on the muscle we've built in those safe spaces to see us through.
Being a Force for Good 