Energy to Change

It’s been almost a month with no writing. It’s not a coincidence that this month has also brought us the four-month sleep regression.

Weird night time sleep schedules has led to me napping while my daughter naps and trying to catch up on other things once she goes to bed.

I really like being well rested. Some people talk about getting hangry, I get tangry (angry when I’m tired). I’ve pretty much been prioritizing sleep over everything else.

So how do we go back to our full night’s sleep? Maybe it will just happen again? But more than likely her sleep has changed for good and I need to help her with how to fall back asleep when she wakes up.

This is going to mean some changes, especially decoupling sucking (for us eating) from getting to sleep.

I’ve been thinking about this for a week or so, but I haven’t acted yet. It’s a chicken and egg situation where I just want to do what we’re used to because I don’t have the energy to do something else. While I may be tired, our schedule is doable. I’m afraid of changing. I’m clinging to our status quo. I’m clinging to our cuddles. Even though I can feel it isn’t sustainable.

Writing about this is the start of my journey to find the courage to change. I usually pride myself on being unafraid of change. Someone who pushes the boundary. With parenting though I find it easy to get comfortable and then maintain. I don’t have the same drive to disrupt. Thinking about change triggers anxiety.

I’ll keep trying to build this muscle and shift into my usual curious changemaker persona as part of my parenting life too.