I’ve decided that we’re going to wind down breastfeeding. Fitting in pumping during the day is getting tricky with my daughter wanting to be on the move and she’s so big I need to give her formula at night anyways, so it feels like time.
It’s bittersweet. I won’t miss all the dishes or having to fit pumping into our schedule, but I’m heartbroken to lose our quiet breastfeeding moments. Night time sleepy snuggles and just staring at each other as she nourishes herself from my breast. I’ll be trying to stay present for all of it these next few weeks.
Earlier this year I shared a post about the emotional journey of having low milk supply. I also wanted to share some of the other things I’ve learned along the way.
All of the books I read, classes I went to and people I spoke with, emphasized that breast was best. There were so many benefits from immune system to better academic performance later in life. I had tunnel vision. There was only one way forward for us. She would obviously be 100% breastfed.
When I discovered I had low milk supply it was a bit like planning and getting excited for a trip to Hawaii and then getting off the plane and realizing you went to Iceland. There’s nothing wrong with Iceland, but you’ve been planning for Hawaii and most of your friends are in Hawaii or have been there before. I’m writing this to encourage people to plan for both Hawaii and Iceland.
Breastfeeding is amazing, but it’s benefits can be overrated. Most breastfeeding research has been done on women and children with a certain amount of privilege. That makes it hard to determine if better outcomes later in life were linked to breastfeeding or the privileges their status granted them. There’s proof for early digestive health and increased protection for their immune system, but the rest is only correlated at the moment. The bonding is lovely and it’s definitely less expensive and easier.
I say all of this so that if for some reason you can’t breastfeed you don’t feel like you’re failing your child. You are not less of a Mom. Your child will thrive and you’re doing amazing.
If you have low supply and you want to breastfeed as much as you can, here’s what I wish those breastfeeding books had included.
1. Get an IBLCE lactation consultant ASAP – I saw my public health lactation consultant who was lovely, but not meant for long term support. It took a milk bleb to get me into a breastfeeding clinic at 10 weeks and I realized that additional intervention was needed. I’d had slow gains for that period of time, but my daughter’s appetite was far outpacing my production. If your supply is still low after 10 days, you will benefit from their support.
2. Pumping progress, not perfection – I was put on a routine of breastfeeding my daughter for 10 minutes each side and then pumping for 15 minutes. When I was home by myself this was hard to do. I wrongly assumed it had to be the full 15 minutes or nothing. It would have been better to pump for 2 minutes if that was all the time I had. It would have also been better to pick up that missed pumping session at another time.
3. Herbs can only do so much – At the clinic I learned that the fenugreek and blessed thistle I was taking were good for slight increases, but I needed to more than double my output and that would likely mean a prescription.
4. It may not work – I really hope it does. My experience saw a slight increase and better consistency throughout the day, but my daughter’s diet has always been more than 50% formula. I tried SO many things to get myself back on that plane to Hawaii. And I cried after many a lactation consultant appointment. It took me 6 months to be ok with it. To be content that we ended up in Iceland.
Being a Force for Good 