The House That Love Built

One of my dear friends and mentors once described the various phases of her professional life. It was inspiring and intriguing how she has succinctly identified the big themes across spans of years. I've been thinking about my own life's themes ever since and this morning it finally poured out. 

 

 

1984-2002: The Foundation

The first 18 years of my life were about building my foundation. It's made up of my family's values and the experiences of love, community and laughter that were poured into my childhood. I figured out what kind of friends and significant others would be a good fit as I tried on different social groups and relationships throughout this time. I lost myself at times in the pressures of society (and sadly my accent with it), but by the time I was nearing my 18th year I had something I could stand on whether I realized it or not. 

2002-2007: Trying out Construction

During this time I tried to figure out how to build a house on top of my foundation. Exploring whether I was good at dry walling or painting or framing and railing against the fact that I couldn't succeed at all of them by myself. This part of my life was dominated by my time at music school. I was in a big pond for the first time in my life and it was scary. I found individuals who were passionate about music and teaching and learning and trying new things. It was inspiring, energizing and terrifying all at the same time. 

2007-2012: Putting up the house

I tried out actually putting up a house. I embarked on my first professional job as a teacher and then as an arts administrator. In 2009 I jumped into an MBA because I felt I had more to learn to see the change I wanted to in the world. It was a steep learning curve. I found myself struggling in an academic setting for the first time in a long time, but I kept moving through and slowly it got easier. 

In 2011 I realized that some of the rooms that I had built were no longer stemming from my foundation. They were wobbly and not grounded. As I looked through my transcript today jogging my memory of my time in school, I was surprised to find pieces of late 2010 and early 2011 that I just couldn't really remember. I lost myself and I created parts of my own house that now seem quite strange to me. 

This forced me to let others in to help in a way that I never had before as rooms of this house crumbled in around me. It forced me to humble myself and start a journey to reconnect with my foundation. I discovered that this foundation was strong. Some of the walls and rooms I had built were flimsy, but the underlying base was untouched. In late 2011 through early 2012, I realized I needed to remodel and that parts of this house would need to be torn down in order to start new. 

2012-2017: The Re-Model

During this time I found out how strong my foundation was and how strong that made me in return. I learned to stand on my own. To get comfortable in building a room that was for me. I moved thousands of miles away from family and began a job in a new field and sector that I had minimal experience in. 

I figured out how to build rooms in my house that were for other people or were to be shared, without allowing or even willing others to take over my own spaces.  I didn't let the conceptions of what my house should look like influence me. I took this re-model as a chance to make anything a possibility.

I learned how to plant and grow things and watch them flower and how powerful of an individual I could be. I found my voice and I built its strength. 

What's tying it all together? 

I've been journeying through a series of 5-year S curves for the last 15 years. It's debatable whether I've always made the jump before the decline started (hence the re-model), but the pattern resembles my life. The trough is horrible, though it gets a little easier each time. This time I'm even a little excited to figure out what this next S-shaped journey will bring. 

I realized that June – September is an important time of transition for me. It is always when I've jumped to that next curve.  

2017-2022: The Next Level

So what's next? I'm not entirely sure. How will I build this second level that expands on what I've already built? Or perhaps it will be about what I fill that first level with? 

I know I have an amazing foundation built on who I am, my family and those other foundational people in my life.  It's likely that this next journey will test my ability to excel and achieve as a tribe rather than as an individual. 

What I do know is that a trough is coming as I embark on this next curve. And I will get through it as I have before. I can't wait to see what this next 5-year curve brings.